FINAL_ Am I the sum of my past?

(written for the class speech/ final)

Good morning class, today is the last academic day of school. How fun? I guess today

would be a nice day to share my goal that I set up on the very first day of the year then.

On the first day of school, I came up with this big plan, where to spend every day of

the year to solve France graduation exam. Why solve French exam through the year?

This exam is not just a paper exam, but with a 60 questions that covers broadly about

philosophical matter of a life. To be honest, this goal was very hard for me to carry on,

because some questions took me few minutes to solve, but then some took weeks to

actually understand. The question that I am going to share with you today is “Am I sum

of my past?”

Well, are we the sum of our pasts? “Past is just past, why do I care?” was my reaction

to it, which made more difficult to answer it. However, thanks to you all, through

discussions in this class, I could solve the question, and move on. I used five characters

from this class: Jake, Gatsby, Hester, America, and myself. You might ask, “How are

they relevant to the sum of their past?” If the past is either bright / dark, I focused more

on their dark pasts to solve the question, which, according to Korean poet Jeong, is the

necessary creation to see the stars, the gold of life.

Jake, in The Sun Also Rises, has a darkness called Brett. His heart is broken, and

drawn back to loneliness, but Jake eventually becomes able to appreciate himself

as a being, as a man. Gatsby, became Jay Gatsby, through his dark desire called

“Daisy. ‘ Hester’s justice, courage to face the truth, comes from her sin, Pearl. America

had a negative desire of freedom, which led them to Great Depression; yet there is

America out there through its history. Thus, my dark past was a fear of criticizing and

being criticized. By attending this class, I had opportunities to debate ideas and to admit

my weaknesses. The fear grew smaller and smaller, and now I can speak up my voice

to other people. Thus, if the higher opportunity is a door and critiques are the keys, I

own so many keys at this point, which will encourage me to open more doors. The keys,

here, is the sum of my past, my progress, and in fact, what makes myself, myself. Now,

what do you think? Do you think your pasts that are sitting in this class are the sum of

yourself? This sounds quite difficult, but it is actually not so hard to understand. For

example, Eun Hyae’s joyful laughter from this class is what makes her such passionate

contributor of this class.

Lastly, I assume you were wondering what these circle and triangles are for. This is

a prism scope, where you see objects through the spectrum; which I would say a scope

of a life. The dark and bright triangles represent the past, filling the circle fully. If you

take off the triangles and ignore or resist them, the light won’t come in a right direction;

therefore the scope would be useless and left unfinished. However, if you accept the

past as the sum of yourself, understand how to overcome, the light will be in the right

position. Your scope then would be a masterpiece, a definite key of your life. I will leave

you here then, and I hope my speech has helped you to find your own spectrum of life.

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Mr.O/May 8th Project/ #3

:Quotes you made me read, Mr.O!

 

-Hemingway, Earnest. The Sun Also Rises. New York: Scribner, 2006. print./ 7

“Why aren’t you tight?” pg 29 bottom

“Last night, I didn’t find her not so gentille” pg 59 bottom

“Mumms. He’s a baron.” pg 63 bottom

“I say. Don’t be ostentatious. Call him off, Jake.” pg 68 bottom

“You’ll be daunted after about three more pernods.” pg 79 middle

“I believe it’s a brothel.” pg 89 top

“There were signs on the walls of the churches saying it was forbidden to play pelota against them, ” pg 97 bottom

 

-Miller, Arthur. Death of a Salesman. New York:  Penguin Group, 1976. print./ 10

“That’s why I thank Almighty God you’re both built like Adonises.” pg 33 middle

Ignoramus!” pg 47 top

“And your saccharine?” pg 75 top

“Who has been limbering up” pg 87 top

“(Incredulously) Don’t you realize what today is?” pg 88 bottom

“Suddenly raucous music is heard, ” pg 98 bottom

“The gist of it is that I haven’t got a story left in my head, Biff.” pg 107 top

“Come on, let’s go downstairs and get you a malted. ” pg 117 bottom

“And never even let me carry the valises in the house, and simonizing, simonizing that little red car!” pg 127 middle

“In accents of dread, Ben’s idyllic music starts up.” pg 133 bottom

 

-Twain, Mark. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. London: Penguin books,1994. print./18

“Don’t scrunch up like that, Huckleberry-set up straight.” pg 12 bottom

“So we unhitched a skiff and pulled down the river the two mile and a half. ” pg 16 bottom

“…and you might scour at them till you rotted,” pg 21 bottom

“…and next morning you couldn’t see no brass.” pg 26 top

“…and cussed me for putting on frills and trying to be better than him.” pg 29 middle

“drunk as fiddler.” pg 30 bottom

“…all but cowhide part.” pg 32 top

“There was a fifty pound sack of corn meal, and a side of bacon, ammunition, and a four gallon jug of whisky.” pg 33 bottom

“There was a free nigger there, from Ohio; a mulatter. ” pg 34 bottom

“So he dozed off, pretty soon. ” pg 37 middle

“Why didn’t you roust me out?” pg 37 bottom

“So he locked me in and took the skiff and started off towing the raft about half- past three.” pg 39 bottom

“I took the wadding.” pg 39 bottom

“I took the bucket and gourd.” pg 39 bottom

“I took a dipper and a tin cup, and my old saw and two blankets, and the skillet and the coffee pot.” pg 39 bottom

“…munching the bread and watching the ferry boat, and very well satisfied.” pg 44 bottom

“I judged she would be proud of me for helping these rapscallions,” pg 79 bottom

“de way dat anybody that had any gumption would? ” pg 82 top

 

-Fitzgerald, F. Scott. The Great Gatsby. New York: Scribner, 2004. print./ 16

“…because I was privy to the secret grief of wild, unknown men.” pg 1 bottom

“…as my father snobbishly suggested, and I snobbishly repeat, ” pg 2 top

“…as if he were related to one of those intricate machines that register earthquakes ten thousand miles away. ” pg 2 bottom

“She was only extemporizing. ” pg 14 middle

“As I started my motor Daisy peremptorily called.” pg 19 middle

“so I sat down discreetly in the living room and read a chapter of Simon Called Peter. ” pg 29 bottom

“…and carefully on guard against its spectroscopic gayety.” pg 44 bottom

“I ascertained, they’re real.” pg 45 bottom

“there was a jauntiness about her movements as if she had first learned to walk upon golf courses on clean, crisp mornings. pg 50 bottom

“…and went into a deep vinous sleep.” pg 51 middle

insolent smile turned to the world and yet…” pg 58 top

“…yet satisfy the demands of her hard, jaunty body.” pg 58 top

“He’s a bootlegger.” pg 61 top

“Four of them were electrocuted.” pg 70 bottom

“By the next year I had a few beaux myself,” pg 75 middle

“Gatsby, his hands still in his pockets, was reclining against the mantelpiece in a strained counterfeit of perfect ease,” pg 86 middle

Woks cited: (In alphabetical order)

-Fitzgerald, F. Scott. The Great Gatsby. New York: Scribner, 2004. print.

-Hemingway, Earnest. The Sun Also Rises. New York: Scribner, 2006. print.

-Miller, Arthur. Death of a Salesman. New York:  Penguin Group, 1976. print.

-Twain, Mark. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. London: Penguin books,1994. print.

Link

Mr.O/May 8th Project/ #2

 

 

It was a great idea to combine my two different articles in one blog page. Within the dialogue, people who communicated me online/reality often said it was nice to compare those two article at once and also to observe others’ comments on two different things. What went well in the dialogues are several: Enabled me to find my weak opinions in my writings, and even to find some mistakes or confusing examples.  I could also rearrange the mistaken numbers through the comments, and even missing explanation about the part that I did not focus, and was likely to confuse readers later on. Truly, communicating with people online was amazing and educational, (I would even say more than reality in some aspect,) since it gives that honesty and seriousness about personal ideas in public. It is something that we often lose to do in reality, but on blog, it is so easy to spend time about reading freely and asking questions freely. However, I think it would have been better if my blog worked regularly, because I missed a lot of replies about my response to the readers’ comments. Moreover, I guess it would have been better if I put one question in general after my two different articles, to question people about how they felt about the the relation between those two and receive direct response about my writing style more than just my ideas. (I was curious about whether numbered resources are more effective or the historical, literal examples are more effective. But people often responded separately. )

Mr.O/May 8th Project/ #1

Since I was little, I always wanted to write my own mystery. Till this time has come, my thought was just kept as an idea in my head. Through this blog, I came up with this idea, that maybe I could start writing my own mystery, by publishing serially. This experience was truly amazing, whether the result it good or not, I felt like I achieved somewhere close to my dream, and even got to check off one of my bucket list. I used weather, figurative language, imagery, etc to help the readers to put themselves more into finding “Jim, the murderer,” and his characteristic. Moreover, to add more interest for the readers to read about the writer who actually found out that her writing has to do something with the homicide cases in town! For example, “His hands were colder than the lady(victim)’s” leads readers to expect his violence and cold blood murderer. Foggy morning and the consistent ringtone show the tension between the present and the future, where the storm will come. Thus, description of the jewel necklace and other accessories gives a hint by its meaning that the one with the Lapis Lazuili (means peace, luck, wise and calm mind.) will survive. Through writing a descriptive short story, once again I learned a new part of my writing and the art of alluding readers to the truth by using figurative language and syntax. I guess that is how writers find joy in creating an idea and sharing it.

The Unforeseen One

 

1

The day I finished writing the last page of my own novel was a foggy morning. I could even see the water drops rolling down from the gray cactus.”Crispy morning to start a day.” It made more sense of the weather, to finish the serene end of the chapter 5. The chill on my back made me  think that all parts of the nature are focusing on this last scene. ‘Jim rather chose to…..’   “I need something more epic to express the killer’s madness… Maybe I can find it around me. Well, oh, the Lapis Lazuli gemstone! This is just perfect!” I picked the necklace up. Apparently it was not my type, but I had to keep it, because it was a gift from my high school reunion, last Christmas.   ‘- take a chance to behave somewhat odd in his plan. He slowly laid the lady on the ground and started to find anything that he could remember his murder. His hands were colder than the lady’s. Suddenly, he found small gemstone on her necklace, gleaming like a small piece of the blue moon. He mumbled briefly and snatched the stone out from the necklace. “It’ll do.” Then, not even with the sound, he faded away like a cold mist in the foggy morning forest. …… By the time when the police men arrived, the victim and the two pair of wine glasses were the only thing that they could find in the room. Again, the crime scene was cold, containing its unique gentleness, not even with a single drop of a blood. “Professional..Since we break into his new place, it will be harder to catch him. It will take time for him to target another victim. We’ll be unable to catch this guy forever!” The killer left nothing in the case. The two wine glasses on the table ,overlapping the killer’s sneer, as if it was running towards the detective……’ ‘Brrrring!’ The telephone rang persistently. I could see that the noise was from my mom. She was the only one who had that kind of character, who has courage to call somebody in this quiet morning. She usually gets blue in this weather, so it was not even surprising for my telephone to ring. “ Good morning, mom. I just read the newspaper and it says the sun will come out early today. If your back hurts again, I am pretty sure it will work after noon so….” My mom didn’t even let me to finish my words. “Gosh! Julie, no! i called you because I have a good news for you! by the way, back pain is something totally normal to the 50’s like us, dear. Hope you don’t misunderstand that. Oh! the news! I almost forgot.. Guess what! Mrs.White just told me that handsome young man singed up on the contract to buy the mansion next to your work place- well, I even feel guilty to call it a mansion, you know your father’s stubbornness, I told him that he had no skills to construct a house, but he did eventually…- anyways, so where did I stop? Oh, so the young man did sign up contract right after he saw the advertisement! Do you know how much he paid? I am sure that’s it was bigger than the cost that your dad paid to build that lame mansion. He said he would like to move in today. I said yes, – I mean dear, who else wouldl say no to that beautiful smile? You’ll like him.- so dear, you better go help him move his things out from the truck. Advice him about the problems that he should remodel in the bathroom on the 2nd floor. Then, you know, what else could two, young human beings can do? You’ll thank me one day, sweetheart, that I gave a perfect man to a pathetic bestseller author!” Oh, mothers. Why can’t they just let their daughters live a life as normal as others? “Mom, I have to finish writing the next series of ‘ The Stone’. If I don’t, I will be the one who’ll be discovered as a victim this week!” “Shhhh! No mumbling. You really can’t fix that habit, can’t you? You behave, as I tell you to, okay? Also, i am not doing this for me, i mean where in the world does a mother calls her daughter in the morning, just to give her daughter a perfect husband?” -Every mother, I thought, but I knew this would tamper her patience, so I just turned the call into a speaker phone and went to got a cup of coffee. “Okay, mom, I will visit him soon, but, only if i can finish my chapter. I know, it will all work out.”   . . . The weather outside seemed a little darker than the weather i expected.  ‘ It won’t be a piece  of cake to move into new house, in such weather as this.’ I grabbed my black jacket and went down stairs. The new neighbor was carrying his last box by himself. I couldn’t see his face, because of the box. I wondered why it ended so fast, I thought he might need help carrying his things into his new house, but I tried to say hi to him, because welcoming a new neighbor around is my pleasure. “Hi, my name is Julie. Nice to meet you, newbie!” He responded gently, and tried to reach out his hand. At the same time, he dropped his box on the ground. “Yieks… Well, life happens, right? Hi Julie, I’m is Nick. nice to meet you. “ I automatically bent my body and start to pick up things back into the box. All of a sudden, a crashing sound came from the living room. “I’ll take care of it. Go inside and see what’s wrong. Otherwise, everything will start to fall down. I know it, because it’s what my dad made  for his personal interest. “ “Thanks! ” He went in to check the object. Meanwhile, I was picking up the stuff on the ground. ‘Interesting,’ I mumbled. It was quite interesting, because he had a jewelry collection in the box. There were rings, broaches, and some necklaces. The collection was even more than I had in my jewelry box. ‘Maybe he had a wife…I guess she was obsessed with jewelry!’ mysteriously, there was a blue lapis lazuli necklace too. ‘This lady…Do I know her? Probably…’  After I started at the necklace for awhile, Nick called my name. “Come in, Julie, would you like some ice tea? Eventually, that’s only drink that I can serve now. I guess I should go buy some groceries. Are there any supermarkets nearby?”  I had to find a place to put the collection down. “I know one place…can you help me?” “Oh, my bad. I totally forgot. Sorry.” “It’s okay. Well, I know perfect place where you can,…….” Then, I couldn’t believe my own eyes. As his first look, I noticed that his face was exact same as Jim, the murderer who I created. His dark brown hair, gray colored eyes, gentle smile, and even the neck mark I wrote on my last book. He looked like he came out of the book, and I couldn’t deny it. “Wait here, please, I will bring some post-it to write down!”  He turned his back, and still, I couldn’t dispel the creepy air around me. ‘It can’t be him! Apparently, Jim is just a character, the fake one in my book! There are tons of guys out there who look like Jim. But the neck mark…..That’s quite weird.’ ‘Crunch.’ ‘Huh?’, I realized that I stepped on something. It was a photo frame, with letters on it. The weird part was that it was only written A-H. Under each words, different pictures or sketches were embellished. The decorations seemed like all kinds of objects, that women usually keep in their dress room. The blue lapis lazuli necklace’s picture was under the empty space. ‘ If these alphabets related to the first letter of the objects under, blue lapis lazuli… I (If it’s in alphabetical order, which seemed obvious,) doesn’t match at all!’ Suddenly, he came back with his post it, but I had to leave urgently, because of my mom’s message.   ‘ I am so sorry to tell you this, Jul. I don’t know if you heard this already, but Irene is gone. She skipped her violin lesson, but she’s not that kind of a person. You know, she’s bit hysteric…The policemen just finished their report, but I guess there’s nothing figured out yet. Actually, they look like they are not even interested. My Lord…Poor Ms. White.. If you know anything about it, please tell me dear.’   -Mom.   Irene was Ms.White’s one and only relative. She went to same high school with me, and moved to Germany after graduation. She had just moved back  to the town last summer. She was more like a talkative career woman, who I wasn’t really close to. She loved to criticize my book all the time. But…now she’s dead? I felt sorry for her. Though she was bit hysterical, it wasn’t for malevolent purposes. She even volunteered to design the high school reunion necklace. The blue lapis lazuli was her gemstone. Even though the necklace wasn’t my type, people loved it. She was talented in fascinating people’s taste. How can a young career woman be gone? Poor Irene….wait, I? and the blue lapis lazuli? What a creepy coincidence….I felt like all of her initial was somehow connected to the rule of the letters on the frame which I saw in Nick’s place. I had to find out why is it so weird. I precipitously turned the steering wheel and headed to my house. I couldn’t stop myself to check the book to see if he’s the ‘Jim the murderer.’

2

‘The book. The book. Where is it! ‘ I was tumbling all over my room. It was a mass. I couldn’t find my first book on the desk. ‘Maybe I also did write about Jim in my second book.’ I searched my server, but still, Jim’s description wasn’t there. Meanwhile, 100  different thoughts crossed my mind. I stood in my kitchen and started to imagine all the miserable things that would happen if I report Nick as murderer. If he was, he will be sent into the prison, but if he was not, there would be such misery than that. That means I humiliated entire town. ‘You have three urgent messages. Press the button to check.’ When I drag myself into the real world from my imagination, I realized my answering machine announcing. I could see those were from my mom, but still I pressed the check button, so I could avoid the loud voices on the late night. Then, some high tone voice came out of the machine:   ‘This morning. 11A.M-’ “Hey, Julie! The Writer! how’s your second book going? Are you still letting the murderer to runaway from the unjust? That’s unjust, remember. People out there want justice. I believe writers should write about justice only. Anyway, now I am going nearby your house. Probably, you didn’t hear about it, but somebody bought your father’s mansion. Guess what! HE’s a Handsome Young guy, I heard my aunt talking to Mrs.Livingstone. I am letting you know because I wanted to warn you that he’ll be mine.. Yes, Mrs. Livingstone will be upset when she figures out that I took the man first, not you; but  life is life. So, even if We disturb you, please forgive us. Bye!”     That message reorganized my mind. The photo frame, and the blue lapis lazuli under the letter I, and the new neighbor who looked exact same as Jim, the murderer in my novel. But I had to think carefully. Nick came into town yesterday, and he could just hide if he noticed that I reported to the cops. I need evidence! Oh, and if there’s a God, Irene must be alive. I had to be wise. Even if I call the police, they will arrive extremely late. I had to call someone who will response to this immediately. Well, there’s onw fits perfectly to this. Mrs.Livingstone, the famous lady, who turn to be my mother. I sent her urgent message. “Hi, mom. This is Julie. Mom, don’t be upset, but I didn’t go to the mansion today. I don’t want to get married. I am a grown, independent woman. Bye.” Now, I had to move quick to Nick’s place to save her. The lapis lazuli on the frame is Irene’s for sure.   It was way easier for me to find where Irene was.  I knew it because the mansion was constructed by my father. There was a secret chamber inside covered with sound- absorbing walls. This chamber was for me to play with my hard rock band.(I was obsessed in rock music when I was in High school.)  Nobody knew about this chamber -including Mrs.Livingstone,- unless Mr.livingstone or I tell anybody. I sneak into the back door and went to the kitchen to find a weapon for self defense in case. However, the kitchen was dreadfully quiet. Not even the sound of breathing. But I could see the wreckage of the glasses, and ice tea spilled on the ground.  ‘Ah-ha!’ It made it clear that they are in the chamber, even though I had no clue how they got there. I grabbed a wooden bet and quietly went up to the staircase. I could hear the blunt sound in the mansion slightly. ‘It’s Mrs. Livingstone! Don’t answer the phone. It’s Mrs.Livingstone! Don’t answer the phone. It’s Mrs. Livingstone! Don’t answer the phone~♬♪♫ ’ Oh, my lord. It was my mom. I reached my back quickly to get rid of this annoying, awkward moment, though it was no use. My phone, still ringing, slipped through my fingers, and landed unsafely on the ground. The ringtone went silent, which gave me a relief but a dreading fear at the same time. I just lost my last chance to send on SOS after I find Irene. Still, I had no time,and haven’t saved Irene yet, and the time was ticking. Apparently, there was no way out other than breaking into the chamber with courage. I HAD to save Irene from Nick. There was no time left. “Irene! If you hear me answer bac……!!!!” Then, I heard something dull hit on my head, and there, I went unconscious.

3

When I opened my eyes, I felt like I was trapped in the giant balloon. I could not even drink one sip of an air. “Whaappp!” I tried to breathe, and my body reacted as if I wasn’t breathing for a while. My brain started to work and it was painful. I tired to look around, but it was blurry. I had to shake my head, and see if I could move my body parts properly. I could move . Eventually, I was laid down on the grass, I knew, because I could see my broken cell phone, and the shape of the staircase high. It was the most dreding moment in my life, even more than the time when I broke into the kitchen to save Irene. Irene! Where is she? Only the wet sound went upon the garden, and there, I was left alone ……