Task#5_2/2 Project guide book

<How to write.>

I cannot recall since when I became hesitative in writing something, and treating creative writing as a task.  As a 9 year old kid, I happily spent all of my pocket money on those squared manuscript papers and fancy plastic fountain pens. To read them again is quite embarrassing, but back then, I proudly showed all of my friends, family, and even parents of my best friends.

So since when I started to fear showing my thoughts to someone? To be specific, I think it was more of a fear of grammar than of expressing my thoughts. This is clearly proven, because I still have my elementary teacher’s birthday card (That I never sent,) where I wrote everything correctly and at the bottom, written “Please excuse my grammar, but I really really tried. -Judy.” I think I feared as if my teacher would be angry of her birthday card grammar. -She was a decent, sweet, angelic teacher though.-  And I still quite concern about my grammar when I write, in fact, concerning for over 10 years now. Writing in a foreign language is THAT scary. You never get used to it. Nevertheless, the reason why I am sitting here confessing my writing phobia, is because writing is always productive for creative ideas.

Therefore, I won’t focus on my grammar that much, because I don’t want to keep these ideas inside and regret as I did on my teacher’s birthday card. I think it would be better to write whatever it comes to my  mind first, and then revise it often. Since it is a project that is requiring narrative writing, it would be more of a journey to seek abandoned adjectives and verbs.

<What would be said>

My English teacher said it could be either personal, or imaginary. My writing so far, is a mixture of personal experience and imagination. This is truly a amazing task of other tasks, because I actually had more time to think about the source. I was thinking about writing from my imagination, but something weird and crazy as this actually happened in my life. So, I decided to combine them. At this point, I hope I could drag what I wanted to say smoothly through the medium that I am using in the writing.

Task#5_ 1/2: Detail work

›I used to like going to have my hair cut.  I liked the mirrors in the room and all the smells of lotions and shampoos.  I liked to sit there – young and fresh and pretty – and see what the women were having done, to make themselves look younger and prettier.  I liked the way my mother’s hairdresser teased me about boyfriends and dances.  Not anymore, though.  Somebody held the door open so my mother could wheel me in, and a few people who had met me came around to say how sorry they were.  ~ Cynthia Voight, Izzy, Willy-Nilly

1. ‘used to like going’ shows that she doesn’t do that anymore. / young, fresh, and pretty seems to be something that she likes to be around, yet she isn’t capable of admiring them anymore.

2. Going through the details, I first thought it would be a story of a boy who strangely loves haircut, or a beauty salon. Just by the first two sentences. ‘Not anymore, though’ gives the readers that impression: the writer still wants them back, but tend to behave as she have never liked it before. Thus, ‘wheel me in’ directs the readers to the scene of the writer’s reality, where she’s no longer treating herself as fresh and beautiful person.

3. I remember the first time I played with my favorite ball. It was a green rubber ball, yet I did not bounce it to play, but rather hugged tight so I could have plaid marks all over my arms. Life’s irony, is that little kid became a grown up and now plays in a school team. The ball stays on the ground now, and so many eyes focus to the one and only object. All of a sudden, all those patterns on the feet start to move rapidly. Those patterns, run after their pray, fast and scary. Red and black, like a dinosaur, steals the ball from the neon pink and red, the flamingo. Flamingo then yells to the cheetah behind the dinosaur to go get the ball. As the game goes through the half, my lungs turns upside down, inside out. I put my hands on my head, and let the cold breeze fix my lungs. Air in and out, almost drying the wet shirt, the ball is heading this way again. That image of dinosaur keep running towards this way! My head is screaming for more water, and my toes are yelling to get out from the small cleats, but I go again.

Task#4_ Othello/ IAGO. EGO.

First of all, when it comes to the tactics of Iago to deceive Othello, he mostly used #2 and #5 from the ‘Tim Keller’s methods of temptation.’ :

  1. presenting the hook before the bait (elevating benefits, diminishing adverse consequences)
  2. rationalizing sin as virtue (In Paradise Lost Eve eats the fruit courageously)
  3. show the sins of respected leaders (if they did it, I can too)
  4. over-stressing mercy (I’ll be forgiven)
  5. cultivating bitterness for suffering (self-pity)
  6. presenting the benefits to a sinful life (showing evil people who are happier)
  7. getting you to compare one part of your life to another (I’m good in other areas, I can afford to fall here)

….

By giving impression of Desdemona’s evil figures, -such as monster, sheep, etc- Iago simply implants the idea of justice in the murder for Othello.  Moreover, when Othello is in great jealousy of the affair of Cassio and Desdemona, Iago quickly turns his attention to Cassio to bring him up secretly in front of Othello, and confess his fake love towards the woman, (Bianca, where Othello believes as Desdemona .)

Most of all, jealously indeed grew in Othello’s heart, drove him to the miserable end. Personally, I did see his suicide was coming, but then I noticed the previous quotes from task #3 were right and clear as a diamond.

>>-Jealousy is indeed a poor medium to secure love, but it is a secure medium to destroy one’s self-respect.
Emma Goldman
-In jealousy there is more of self-love than love.
François de La Rochefoucauld<<

Yes, Iago is a evil character, and he is the one who implanted the misery inside. But is he to blame? Perhaps, the reason why people could not find the reason or motivation from his evilness is because the misery itself did not grew from Iago but from Othello. My theory could be explained: though there were not many of description about Othello’s true adventures or position, he is quite in the top position of power in the plot. He probably is the character who respect the work of power and the victory of the battle. Love betrayal, is then, the measure of his power and royalty. Moreover, the picture of Cuckold explains the degradation in power of men, when betrayed by true love. He himself thought about and agonized of himself too much. He even has lines (two-three, which means the theme of the character/ probability of the characteristic) ‘doubting’ his own being, or to say, “the power, the position.” Thus, where in the earth does a man kill his wife, in great jealousy, but not even caring once of how he loved her? His last line after his murder is “Not dead? Not quite dead yet?”. It is clear that he himself loved Othello too much.

On the other, as well as Desdemona’s trick in her name, I saw a trick in Iago’s name too. The ‘Ego.’ Ego, is the utmost motivation where the evil comes, but also where the opportunity comes from. Humans work harder to fulfill our ego, and this does not die easily. Likewise, Shakespeare shares his observation of Ego and its temptation and opportunity through Iago. He shares the irony too, where everyone died at the end, and Iago is the only one to speak till’ the end. It is very interesting, and I think I could carefully apply this idea to the next novel, “Crime and Punishment.”

Task #3_ Othello/ the curiosity of words.

For the past few weeks, I challenged myself to read Shakespeare. The biggest barrier was to understand the words. Diction of Othello was difficult, not because of its meaning, but of its use. Here is the list of words that impressed me:

-bestial           -politic        -green                  -owedst

-sue               -doubt         -exsufflicate        -farewell   

-fustian          -oft              -virtue                  -creature

-moraler        -worst         -seeming             -fancies

-suit               -indeed       -seel                    -cause

-enmesh       -conspire    -beseech            -hies

-cashiered     -spy            -bold                 

-billeted         -filches        -haply 

and some more….

The word that I paid special attention is “jealousy.” 

According to the * http://www.grammarphobia.com/ ,

>>As for “jealous” and “envious,” you may be surprised at how much these two words have evolved over the years.

The adjective “jealous,” according to the Oxford English Dictionary, has meant wrathful, furious, devoted, eager, amorous, lustful, zealous, and so on, though many of these senses are now obsolete.

The word is ultimately derived from zelus, Latin for zeal.

The Chambers Dictionary of Etymology says “jealous” apparently entered English sometime before 1200, and originally meant “distrustful of the faithfulness of a spouse or lover.”

The earliest citation in the OED is from The Owl and the Nightingale, a Middle English poem from the 12th or 13th century: “He was so gelus of his wive.”

It wasn’t until a couple of centuries later, according to citations in the OED, that people began being “jealous” of their rivals (or imagined rivals) in love.

Here’s an early citation from The Book of the Knight of La Tour-Landry, a mid-15th century translation of a French etiquette guide for young women: “She loued hym so moche that she was ielous ouer alle women that he spake with.” <<

Until then, I thought jealousy is a word for a man who cannot bear anything with patience. However, the Bible says

>>Proverbs 27:4 Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?<<

Othello was known as a calm patient man, who overcame all the dangerous adventures. However, as Emilia said, everything could be the ’cause’ of the jealousy. Especially relating with his general and his wife, he himself got blind without noticing. This gave me thoughts that human being could be weak regardless to his power or knowledge. Overall, emotion is not something one can control perfectly. 

On the other hand, if jealousy could grow in love, what makes it so powerful? Also, why is it so fatal to a mankind? 

>>-Jealousy is indeed a poor medium to secure love, but it is a secure medium to destroy one’s self-respect.
Emma Goldman
-In jealousy there is more of self-love than love.
François de La Rochefoucauld<<

Goldman and Rouchefoucauld said it is because one came to lose himself by loving in egoistic mindset. Does that mean we should focus to love others more to not lose ourselves? Now it seems very difficult to have a definite answer for love and jealousy. Through reading Othello, I could see the word jealousy was mostly used for emotion of love, not for envy of certain object. Moreover, it could grow so powerful, that once it is used, it could bring other new words back to life too; such as enmesh, doubt, and sue. 

One thing that amazes me is that Shakespeare highlighted jealousy through the minor characters (Cassio and Iago,) . Rather using direct lines from Othello or Desdemona, he chose to use Iago and Emilia to describe the consequence of their jealousy and love. Jealousy was the seed of the whole plot (Iago), and became a medium of the downfall. Will this word bring more destructive words to Othello, or will there be another word to fight back these negative atmosphere?